Suzette's Parenting and Breastfeeding Blog

Well, noticed lately there are confinement services (CL and such) keep posting in comments in this blog, advertising their numbers and services.

Please note that if you are interested to advertise here, please read from the page Advertise. Do not simply post your ‘advertisements’ in the comments as they will be all removed.

Particularly for confinement services, if you are a Confinement Lady, I would like to know your knowledge and attitude towards breastfeeding. I wouldn’t simply allow your advertisement here, without knowing your stance on breastfeeding, knowing many mothers who intend to breastfeed ended up failed BECAUSE OF CONFINEMENT LADY’s INTERFERENCE or DISCOURAGEMENTS.

Anyway, since on the same topic, I would like to also share a sad story here.

My sister’s friend’s sister (whatever), just jumped off a tall building, on CNY eve. When she jumped off the building, her baby was only a couple of weeks old. The news was in SinChew Daily.

She is a lecturer in UniTAR, a supposedly cheerful person, looks very young from her photo in SC.

She planned to beastfeed her baby but faced tremendous pressure. She lives with parents in law and grandparents in law. She had a CL too. All did not give her moral support, kept saying she had no milk (common remark from ppl without bfg knowledge). When milk came in, she had engorgement, but milk couldn’t come out (probably due to the same reason my sister faced — milk blister).

When she had the problem, unfortunately Dr. Koe was away for holiday and would be back a month later.

She developed depression soon, and sneaked out of the room on CNY eve when everyone else were busy and not noticed, jumped off a building somewhere else.

Honestly, in my first confinement, I nearly got into depression too. I used to live on 13th floor, and many times the thought of jumping off the building flashed in my mind. All thanks and no thanks to the CL I had. Well, that CL wasn’t even a person with strong character! I just can’t imagine those people who have CL with strong character (like my SIL had once), and living with in-laws who give sarcastic remarks on bfg attempts (thank God my in-laws are very supportive!!). I only had that soft-spoken CL who had no knowledge of bfg, not very approving my attempts –> and that could already cause me into near depression. If I had been living like that poor lady my sister knew, I guess I would have jumped off the 13th floor too.

Whatever it is, the morale of this story is that:
1) If you intend to breastfeed, don’t give yourself too much pressure. Remember, the intention is good for your baby. If you get into depression because of that, it will do no good to your baby, so defeat the purpose!

2) Before you do something bad to yourself, think of the baby first. When you are not around, what would happen to your baby?

3) Have good talk with the people and get their support, before the birth of your baby. Get their consensus and educate them first. If can’t, be mentally prepared to face the pressure to come, but don’t stress yourself.

4) Husband’s support is utmost. Seek his support first.

5) Get contact of more than one Lactating Consultant:

Dr. Koe (She is the most popular/favorite LC amongst breastfeeding moms because she is also a paediatrician.)
Address: 73 Jalan Mega Mendung, Kompleks Bandar, 5th Mile Jalan klang Lama, 58000 Kuala Lumpur
Tel: 03-79830539
Consultation Hours :
Monday-Friday: 9.00 am – 1.00 am/ 6.00 pm – 8.30 pm
Thursday: 9.00 am – 12.30 pm
Thursday Night / Sunday / Public Holidays – Closed
Saturday: 9.00 am – 12.30 pm

Dr. Pearl. This is another LC that you can use in case Dr. Koe is not accessible. Recommended by Busymum. Dr. Pearl is a GP, who is also an LC. She is knowledgeable enough to help you, but not that preferred because she is not a paediatrician (and I was old that she doesn’t have any children yet).
Telephone: 012 3045534/ 03 62032837

6) Mix with people who have successfully breastfed, talk to them whenever you face any challenges. Mothers would know mothers better.

I want to reiterate, water is NOT necessary for babies who are 100% breastfed. I have written before, in detail, explaining why breastfed babies shouldn’t be given water at all.

It is not that we are obsessive of what we give to our babies, but it has medical reasons why water should not be given to babies.

Remember, it does more HARMS than goods to the babies. Do NOT give water at all to your babies, if he/she is 100% (exclusively) breastfed, okay?

If you plan to give birth in the hospital, you might be worrying what to pack and what to bring. Here is a place you can find printable checklist for things to be brought to hospital, i.e. what to pack for your Hospital Bag.

When I gave birth to Ian, I had a checklist from Pantai Hospital, so I didn’t really need this. I’m not sure if they still give out similar list or not. No harm checking this out.

I would add one more item to the list though, from my experience with the epidural. After the epidural’s effect is gone, you will feel nauseous. You might want to bring some candy to suck, to reduce the feeling.

One tip to release the ‘wind’ in your stomach after the epidural, is to drink this ginger soup. I know, I know, not to take too much of ginger post delivery, but this soup is very useful. It ’saved my life’ before. I was reluctant to drink, but nearly vomited in the delivery room post epidural. I drank it, immediately burped out the ‘wind’, and then nauseous gone, I was completely okay after that.

This soup is made this way:
- Extract the juice of 1 large pc of old ginger.
- Boil it with a chunk of lean meat (pork or beef).
That’s it. No need seasonings, already tastes good, and effective too.

A Spanish toy company has introduced a Breastfeeding Doll recently, and The Fox News shows ‘Red Eye’ took up the question: Is the Breastfeeding Doll an appropriate toy for girls?

Honestly, I really dislike the way the host and the guests make joke & fun of breastfeeding topic. Breastfeeding is just a natural way of nursing babies, it is not something that is disgusting. Breasts should not be always related to sex.

I would think it is a wonderful gift for the elder girls, if mommy is getting a new baby. So, while mommy is breastfeeding the newborn, the sister can play breastfeeding with this doll.

Is it really that disgusting with that toy? What is your view on this? You might want to hop over to Opposing Views to voice your comment on this question: “Is the breastfeeding doll an appropriate toy for girls?“. But I am also interested to hear your views on this here. Please leave a comment and let’s discuss?

Hiring a Confinement Lady to take care of new mother is a common practice amongst Chinese in Malaysia and Singapore.

There are so many rules after delivering a baby. Many new moms do not know them well, so they hire a CL (Confinement Lady) to help them. CL’s service including cooking of confinement food for new mom and normal food for the new dad, taking care of the baby day and night, cleaning (sweep and mop the floor, and laundry).

Now, the issue with CL is that, most of them are coming from the old school (that’s why they are hired for their knowledge of the old practice). They themselves are mothers in the 70s era, where formula invaded Malaysia and Singapore and gained popularity. I can dare say nearly all of the CLs have never breastfed their babies, and that’s where problem comes in.

If you have experience with CLs, I’m sure you will agree with me… Nearly all CLs would tell you that:
- You do not have enough milk for the baby.
- You need to supplement with formula, at least for the first 1 week and for night feeding.
- You must let her take care of your baby at night, so you can sleep.
- You must drink a lot of alcohol and eat a lot of ginger.
- You must not feed baby lying down.
- You must not feed baby at night.

For those mothers who follow CLs advice, 100% of them fail breastfeeding. Some might consider them ’successfull’, because they fed a few times a day for a month or so, then weaned because of ‘no milk’. I won’t call it successful, if you have to supplement with formula.

I hired a CL after my 1st child birth. It was a disaster. But because of my perseverance (or stubborness) and well equipped with knowledge + support, I overcame that. Also, my CL didn’t have strong character, and after I told her firmly how I wanted my confinement to be, she accepted it later (like after 1 week!).

I didn’t hire CL for my 2nd child birth. My mom took care of me, and she let me do my way.

Why CLs like to tell you the wrong way (or sabotage your bfg effort)?
- They never believe in breastfeeding in the first place.
- They have never breastfed themselves, but most like to pretend they are pro, and they give you wrong information.
- Those wrong advices are made to ease their job in the 28 days.
- Formula is harder to digest, hence stay longer in the stomach. SHE works less, and can sleep through the night!
- Formula fed babies usually poo less – less work for her.

It is important that, before you hire a CL, always interview her first. Ask her the following questions:

- Has she taken care of any bfg mothers?
- If yes, did the mothers supplement with formula at all?
(if yes, ask why – if she keeps insisting that the mothers have no milk, she is questionable! Note her reaction towards the failed bfg moms – whether she sounds ‘disgusted’ or ‘pitious’)

- How supportive is she on bfg?
(if she discourage you immediately, drop her)

- How comfortable that you do not keep any infant formula at home?
(if she asks you to buy a can for ‘just in case’, tell her that you would not keep any, not even for just in case basis — ask if she is comfortable with that or not)

- Is she okay that you take ginger and alcohol in moderation during the 1st week. And all alcohol must be cooked before serving.

Along the way, note the character of the CL, whether she is very authoritative, or easy going. Remember, you are the boss. You pay her salary. You have the rights to choose how you want your confinement to be.

The word ‘confinement’ is already so demotivating. With the Confinement Lady’s dominating the whole process, it can be very daunting for the new mothers. I nearly developed post natal depression with my own CL!! So it is very important to stand firm on your choice – breastfeeding. Read a lot – to reinforce yourself that you are doing the right thing. Most of the time, it is us who doubt whether we are doing it right, since CL is supposed to be the more experienced. That’s when we tend to give in, because the experts say so.

Having a CL is actually still a very pampered thing to do. So, choose your CL right, and you can enjoy your confinement period.