Mar 13 2009
Beware of this Confinement Lady
SIL gave birth about 1+ week ago to a lovely boy. Her confinement lady arrived last Wednesday, from Ipoh.
And, she left on Tuesday, with lots of lies and excuses.
SIL was left alone at home with the baby just like that.
That CL is extremely irresponsible doing this. And she dare spread rumours that SIL is at the verge of having post natal blue. Think! If this new mother is going to have post natal blue and you leave her like that, are you trying to kill her or what? You are a CL to look after her well-being and you run away because you are scared that she might have post natal blue?
She arrived without any knowledge to handle breastfeeding mother. She kept pushing SIL to buy infant formula (thank God that SIL listens to me that she never bought any). She kept pushing SIL to drink tonnes of ginger juice on the first day home and caused the baby jaundice. Beware, new mothers, in the first week, take ginger in moderations, following doctors’ advice, or your baby will have jaundice.
The poor baby ended up had to be hospitalized one night, and SIL was reprimanded by the doctor for taking so much ginger. She was instructed to take only plain water for the next 24 hours to flush off the excessive ginger.
This CL went and told another relative (she was CL for her), that: SIL breastfed in the living room, so disgusting, that SIL should be more discrete and only stay in her bedroom especially if there are guests, etc.
See, this is how that CL sees breastfeeding —> DISGUSTING!
She doesn’t know anything about breastfeeding and pretended that she is a pro. She kept ‘advising’ SIL on feeding positions, which were completely wrong –> those could cause severe backache and sore nipples if I had not arrived on time to stop her.
She kept saying SIL has no milk, that the baby is dying because of SIL torturing the baby with her breast.
God blessed SIL! When her milk comes in, she could hand expressed so much milk that she has excess. Baby drank 3.5 oz (or more) each meal, and SIL is enjoying direct breastfeeding, and is feeding on demand now.
This CL even dare to ask SIL pay her pro-rated wages, and is calculated based on 28 days.
So, if you are thinking of getting any CL, and she happens to be from Ipoh, watch out for this lady: 英姐 (+60 16 5468777)
Spread the words, to help alerting your friends who are expecting and intend to hire CL, and want to breastfeed successfully.
I think breastfeed mothers are very ‘charm’. The act itself already requires so much effort…..to add to that, there’s this pressure and misunderstanding from the general society.
from so far I’ve heard, CLs bring more trouble than help. And to think they cost so much….;p
aiyu: That is actually a very fair statement. Before this turn of event, I actually planned to write a post about conflict of CL with Breastfeeding, to advise mothers how to deal with CL (even before hiring) or to avoid using one. Mana tahu, this happened, so my blog post become ‘beware of this CL’. Hahaha! But I will still write about this conflict one day.
This CL is so irresponsible. That’s why a lot of Chinese mothers failed in breastfeeding, all thanks to these CL
good to know that not all CL are worth listening to. i am planning for our first child next yr and have seen many frends talking about breastfeeding, this and that and it made me worried how do i choose my options when my turn comes (i tend to over think, over plan and over worry). at least now i know must trust ourself n doctor
oh and i hope your SIL didnt pay her the fees she demanded.
I heard that most CL will push to have the baby bottle fed and will give the baby lots to drink so they can sleep through and well, most do not believe in breastfeeding.
oh dat is horrifying.. luckily i did not depend on CL during my confinement.. my mom came over to stay with me..
To be fair, not all CL are like that. My first and second CL are definitely no pro at breastfeeding but they basically followed and supported me whether I choose to breast or bottle feed. The key here (assuming you know your stuff) is to find a CL who will give you the support and follow instructions.
Maybe it’s good for this CL to leave early so as not to cause further “harm” to your SIL & the baby…
Who’s taking care of your SIL now? hopefully she’s in good hands & she needs support for her 1st baby…
well, i can said that most cl coused more trouble than help. Thanks god, my cl is very supportive.
Most cl would love to feed babies formula cause formula babies feed regulary every 3 hours so cl will get much more rest then handling bf babies.
Elaine: That is true. Most of the CL practice is in conflict with breastfeeding, but most CLs do not want to change!
Ashley: I plan to write an article about choosing CLs. Not all CLs are bad, but you need to know how to choose the right one.
Wait har… Oh, SIL paid her the fee – she was alone with the kid at home, and the CL is very big size and rough. SIL was scared of her actually.
MG: Yup, unfortunately most do not believe in breastfeeding. On one hand, they pretend they love the benefit of breastfeeding and sing about it. But on the other hand, they keep pushing for formula – keep saying that if you don’t supplement the baby will starve and die lah, etc. They just want the easy way out!
Merryn: Yup, mom is still the best. Comparing my 2 confinements, my second one was a breeze because my mom was my CL. Hahahaha!
EMYYL: Yes, agree with you. Just need to make the right selection – best is to interview first and see what she believes in!
Yiwen: Hahahaha! You know what? I visited the couple yesterday, and they both told me exactly that! They were so glad that she left because she has been very grumpy about SIL’s effort to breastfeed and interfered too much. A blessing in disguise that she left.
Hello everyone,
Haha, finally, a place for me to release all my dissatisfaction about this CL.
Her name is Aunty Ying from Tuk Alang, Ipoh, Perak. So called very PROFESSIONAL in confinement. She had been telling 2 sides of story ever since she arrive in my house for confinement.
I told her not to cook ginger for the 1st 2 weeks coz it was an advice from my parents as my baby is breastfeeding. She say a bit abit is ok. But the portion for her ‘a bit a bit’ seems to be a bit too much during the 1st 3 days of her arrival. Fried ginger, ginger chicken, ginger soup & ginger kidney.hhmm….
then as my kid was certified to have jaundice, there she was with her statements. ‘See, i told you not to eat so much ginger…blah blah blah..’ TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLE..
She left and start telling everyone about my wife & my son. How my wife do not want to eat her food, why just breastfeed, the baby always crying & hungry, baby’s complextion not so good & a lot more. I did not take her in to help me spread news about my family to the outside world but i think this is her best skill ‘to share her EXPERIENCE’ to everyone out there..haha..
Well, ever since that she had left, it was a havoc for the a while until a new CL came in. Haha, my kid seem to like this one better.
RMBR, Aunty Ying from Tuk Alang, Ipoh Perak…Avoid her!!!
Sam
Goodness! that is absolutely terrible… I really hope your SIL has got over the horrible experience and is doing better now.
What a b*tch la! Definitely should NOT pay her ‘fees’,a fter all she did not provide any services, just spread useless gossip around.
Sam: Thanks for dropping by and left a comment. I guess this is a blessing in disguise, and I could see that you are all happier without her.
Li: Thanks for the concern. She is now happier without that CL pestering her to drop breastfeeding.
Ya, we all agree that she shouldn’t be paid, but SIL worried of their well-being. During the time she demanded to leave and get paid, only SIL and baby were at home. This CL is very big, so SIL just paid and got rid of her. Come to think of it, maybe SIL should just pretend she doesn’t have money at home!! 
wow, so scary.. I am thinking to get a CL myself, IF I got baby next time.. really have to beware and find a reliable one!
Usually, it’s advisable that you don’t take ginger in the first two weeks and when you do, it is only after breastfeeding your baby. Reasons? To avoid worsening the jaundice in babies; normally jaundice peaks in babies in the first couple of days so it’s best to only start on the ginger later not immediately. :/
Most CLs are from the traditional old-school thought whereby breastfeeding to them is considered not healthy or normal. This is because they know NOTHING about the benefits or nutrition and etc. A lot are wetblankets and some may even go so far to sabotage your efforts in breastfeeding by sneaking in formula milk to babies or wear you down with their incessant “nagging”.
Some feel that formula milk is easier because babies fed on formula poop less and you don’t need to feed them that often compared to breastfed babies. =.=
The key is to stand your ground, read up as much as you can (most women succumb from the pressure and because they don’t know any better) and if possible, find a CL who supports you wholeheartedly.
waaa..scary ha tis CL. Kesian ur SIL.
And I didn’t know that taking too much ginger at the early confinement will ‘jaundinised’ the baby too
will keep this in mind for next baby..hehe.
Jys: Yes, indeed you need to be very careful, coz from what I’ve observed, breastfeeding efforts of most mothers were ruined, no thanks to these CLs. Just got to be careful. I will write something later about the conflicts between CLs and breastfeeding. Do come back later.
Mei: Yup, I agree strongly about the point on sabotage. And it is very hard to find a CL that would support bfg wholeheartedly. So far, I’ve only heard of one, but she is on long leave for 2 years, I think.
Pei Wei: Actually, some of the elderlies would discourage us to breastfeed, mainly because of the mothers unable to take so much ginger. You know, sometimes this traditional practise is so gila. I still remember I was ‘reprimanded’ for consuming ONLY 14kilo of ginger. MIL said a ‘good girl’ should take 40kilo. Ahem! That is like 1+ kilo a day, and I think I would die on the spot after eating one meal. LOL!!
heard too many horrible story about CL. Is not easy to get a good one, especially for those who intend to Breastfeed, need to be extract careful. So, ask around your friends & relative, don’t go through agent , I have a few CL’s contact which is good & support BF, can recommend if any friends need, have been recommend to friends & they are quite happy.
Hate those CL who don’t have much knowledge of BF but yet giving
all negative comments.
The nerve of that CL, asking for a whole months’ worth of salary!
Luckily we don’t have CL’s here in the Philippines. It is usually just the mom or the MIL who takes care of new moms. But sometimes it is them who are ignorant about breastfeeding!
Just wondering, what herbs do the CLs in Malaysia give new moms? My MIL prepared my soups/herbs for my confinement, and ginseng was included. But now I heard that ginseng can decrease milk production. Is this true?
I didn’t know that eating lots of ginger will give the baby jaundice, either. Maybe that’s why my son had jaundice for a few weeks after he was born.
Hi,
I would like to share my experience. My CL is not pro on BF, but when I booked them, I let her know in advance that I wanted to BF, and if she is OK with it. If not, I will find someone else. Is IMPORTANT to confirm that they are OK with BF.
My CL (Ah Tai che) wasn’t pro on breastfeeding, but in the end, she was the one who helped me to massage when I was expressing. My production of milk doubled
. To be honest, is because of this, I successfully BF my first born up to 10 months exclusively. Of course, as CL, she complained about not enough milk etc…but in the end, she also cooked lots of papaya soup to increase milk production. Another plus point – she is also OK with using malay massage.
So, anyone who would like to use her service – 016-9501123.
I have not heard of any CL that is perfect, but I am lucky enough to avoid those from “hell”.
piggy: you mean these CLs are okay with bfg mothers? that is good. If you don’t mind sharing?
jane: not quite, she didn’t ask for full month wage, but pro-rated. In a way, it is fair, but it is also not because she didn’t complete it and caused more headache than not even to start SIL at all.
As for your question on some Chinese herbs like Ginseng and DongGuai, I heard that they can cause thinning in blood, i.e. mothers will bleed more. That is also one of the reasons why Chinese mothers bleed longer than other races here, generally.
Vivian: Thanks for sharing your story. You are right, indeed not all human perfect. Even with own mothers there will be grumbles here and there. Most importantly, what we do not want during confinement period (which is the toughest period for new moms), are the discouraging words and naggings on breastfeeding. It is already so tough to breastfeed and CLs normally adds more stress to it, with selfish reasons – to be able to do their job easier. You are absolutely right about having to make sure the CLs are supportive with breastfeeding, and check on their practices. This is exactly what SIL did the second time, after the first CL left. This teaches us a good lesson – never to trust recommendations 100%. The first CL was recommended but a NON-Breastfeeding mom. I have warned my MIL about it earlier, but she took it lightly.
Hello everyone,
It’s me again. Haha, i cant wait to have this posted as I just got a lot of new information about my ‘RUNAWAY’ CL.
This CL was said to have went to Sg Buloh to accept another job 2 days after she left my house, leaving me & my family miserable. And coincidentally, this family that took her in is a distance relative of my in law. OMG!! I just cant believe the words that came out from her mouth.
Her reason for leaving my wife’s confinement period is that her father in law is having appendix & she need to take care of her father in law! But the words that came out from that CL, which is circulating around Sg Buloh is “if i dont say like that, you all wont let me go! then how can i accept that job.” Can you believe that?
Some more now, she keep telling EVERYBODY that all her clients have their babies fat fat red red. All the new mothers are also with glowing smile faces. “the last mother & baby is not that healthy. I do not want them to spoil my REPUTATION!”
The moment I heard that I just would like to pay her a visit in Sg Buloh. I just wonder why such b***hy KAMPUNG STYLE AUNTY still exist in this society.
I finally got her number again.
0165468 777 Aunty Ying from Tuk Alang, Ipoh..AVOID HER & TELL ALL SOON TO BE MOTHERS TO BE VERY VERY CAREFULL.
Cheers,
Sam
Sam: Thanks for the update. Wow! Didn’t this prove the phrase: “The world is very small”? She must be least expect to meet you again in Sungai Buloh. I think you should really go to see her there, and to ask her in a dramatic way “Ei? I thought your FIL is hospitalized? What happened to him now?” See what she says? Padan muka!
BTW, did your relative know about this background? Should let them know!!
oh my this is so scary! she has a reputation for all the bad things. Thanks for sharing this.
wah…so scary ler…
fortunately, i had a good confinement lady during my confinement mth…haha
piggy & naturegirl, can I have your CL numbers?
My email address is cyhoh at yahoo dot com. TQ.
Hi, I know of a confinement lady who provides one stop centre during confinement. You will have to stay in her house in Subang Jaya, she will provide 1 to 1 service and she is very good at cooking. If you intend to breastfeed your baby, she is the best as she knows to prepare types of soup to boost the milk supply and handle breastfeeding baby. You may contact her (Madam Chew) at 03-56221193.
Hi Mei
I saw your comment on your confinement lady from shoppingnsales.com. May I know more about her? Is she good?
Appreciate your soonest reply. Thank you.
I have a very good confinement lady. She takes very good care of my baby and me during my confinement. She is very clean and cooks for my hubby and mum in law as well. Anyone looking for a good confinement lady, I will recommend Mdm Sie. 016-4946303. She speaks Mandarin and Hokkien.
lim: Good to hear your good experience. Is she supportive of breastfeeding as well? Many issues we have with CL is that they normally don’t support breastfeeding and often tarnish our effort.
Hi piggy & naturegirl, can I have your CL contact numbers?
My email address is hltan_17 at yahoo dot com. TQ.
Hi Lim,
Can I know if your CL supports b/feeding and if her cooking is good? I live with my MIL and have a maid. I only need the CL to do cooking and support me in b/feeding.
Hi Piggy & naturegirl,
Would be grateful if u can share the contacts of your good CLs who are pro b/feeding.
my email add : babytinyfeet@gmail.com
Cheers & Thanks,
anyone have good confinement lady to recommend ? i need urgently. Thank you so much. please email me at joycenek2hotmail.com
piggy & naturegirl, can I have your CL numbers?
My email address is kllee1981@live.com