Suzette's Parenting and Breastfeeding Blog | 11 years passed and…

Last Saturday, I brought Ian to attend K’s wedding dinner. K is now working in Jakarta, for many years already, and finally married his dream wife. Hehehe!

Okay, back to this topic. I arrived quite early, and when TBC arrived, I almost couldn’t recognize her! She looks…, well, I don’t know how to describe.

Technically speaking, she is not different from before. Still very beautiful, gentle, elegant, slim… but I just don’t know how to describe the difference. Yes, she is different.

Then, arrived Noel and Yaw. Yaw looks exacty the same, I couldn’t tell any difference (so jealous, just like Yiwen). But Noel is also different, with more marked and distinctive difference. He grew rounder and with his beard and being darker, he looks… err… more matured.

Now, yes that word MATURED, is probably a very nice word to describe we all getting OLDER.

Well, I’m not saying TBC has wrinkles or looks old. NO! Not that. But the kind of body language, the facial expression, and what we call in Chinese: 神情. I’m not sure how others look at me, but I know I look much older and uglier than last time (plus some more putting extra 7kg on my belly!).

We definitely look like mid 30s. Well, yes, we look like our age, what is the issue? But that realization makes me suddenly feel very OLD.

It brings me back to 14 years ago, when I first met TBC. She was my roommate and she arrived before me. When I first saw her, I was stunt to her beauty. She still look the same, but she is different (of course, stupid suzette).

And then, I remember those days when we were so crazy playing Monopoly (Taiwan Ah-Toh-Gia version) in my room till late night with a few coursemates, not feeling tired at all the next day. Now, if you ask me to do the same, I will die, even before passing midnight! Yiwen you are better than me, you said that you still lepak till late in your comment earlier!

Well, TBC has 3 children now, and still maintaining her slim figure, is considered very good. But there are things that we cannot change, which is really the 神情/ 神韵, which I don’t know how to describe here in English. It is the little stuff in the eyes, the way we smile, the way we talk, etc.

Of course, when I reach mid 30s, I cannot expect that I still look like 20s. I will lose respects or confidence of others in the office, or even from peers. Maybe I have been living in denial stage all these while. Just before going to that dinner, my sister was in my house and we went through my old handbags. One was a Benneton colourful pouch that I still keep, which is like 15-20 years old, still looking new. I asked her if it is okay that I use it when I go out sporting. Her immediate reaction is, “Yuck! You are too old for that design. Give it to Isabel lah! You should use something for your age.”

Still at that point, I just felt a little sad - not because of my age, but for not able to use that cute little pouch. The biggest realization is at the point of meeting TBC again. That reality really striked me.

I AM IN MY 30s ALREADY, AND I SHOULD ACCEPT IT. :p

Not that I didn’t know how old I am, before that event. Just that, I don’t realize what 30s or getting old, really mean to one person. In the past, I just thought - well, it is just a number. Not knowing that even lifestyle, fashion, activities, everything have to be adjusted. I have been young at heart, not knowing I cannot stay young outside. People will laugh at me!

I have been thinking a lot about this, in the past few days. Thinking of how old I am now, and how little achievements I have. How many years more do I have to make a difference. And also, how much will I have to spend in my wardrobe to adjust this. :p

Seriously, I do not shop much. Apart from buying maternity clothes 5 years and 3 years ago, I rarely buy clothes. So, most of my clothes could be over 5 years old. And of course, the fashion is 5 years old (I usually buy ever green styles). I don’t really need nice clothes, because I rarely meet people. Does it mean that I have to also do some shopping too? I am perhaps too thrifty.

Oh, gosh! This post is leading me to no where. Sorry to confuse you, and thanks for reading till this point. :p My mind is very messy now… :p

无论你如何保养你的肌肤, 它再如何象昔日般光滑, 随着岁月的增长, 总会出现一些菱角. 眼神, 也随着岁月的磨练, 失去了当日的天真无邪, 取代的是以前没有的智慧, 也有一些对生活的担忧和无奈. (not talking about anyone in specific)

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