Jul 06 2008
Siblings Jealousy
There are plenty of articles about how to deal with siblings jealousy like here and here.
One says it very well:
“The following imaginary scenario might help you to see things from the older child’s perspective. (It is written from the perspective of a wife, but it could easily be a husband or other partner.)
Imagine that your husband comes home one day with another woman. He announces: “Dear, I love you as much as I always have, but now this person is going to live with us, too. By the way, she is also going to take up a lot of my time and attention because I’m crazy about her. She is more helpless and needy than you are anyway. Isn’t that wonderful? Aren’t you delighted?”
How would you feel about that new woman in your family?”
(source: Dr. Spock)
Anyway, this is not about the how to cure, or how to reduce, or how to cope. This post is about how jealous my 2 children are with each other. Yes, not just the older child gets jealous, the younger one as well!
When I put my arm around Isabel at the dining table, Ian would get angry and sit closer to me demanding me to also do the same.
Then, when I put my arm around him, Isabel would deman that I kiss her. Then Ian would get jealous and wanted the same. When Ian says, “Mama I love you” and at the same time Isabel does the same, if I respond to Isabel first Ian would be furious.
Sometimes I feel like torn apart, dunno who to attend to first, especially if the two of them make the same request at the same time (like “Mama I love you!”).
Now, even bathing and brushing teeth also they fight. I have now set the new rules: Saturday would be Isabel first, and Sunday would be Ian first. This still doesn’t solve the problem. Ian understands but wouldn’t comply. Isabel doesn’t understand. So, I am still torn apart. Every Sat/Sun I would have the 2 kids crying and fighting for everything they want me to do. LOL!
No, I’m not complaining. It is challenging, but a fun challenge, though sometimes frustrating. Afterall, I am a human also, I have emotion also, I get tired also… :p
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What an amazing photo! I just Dugg your post. Seriously though your explanation and links have helped a close friend of mine who (in her thirties) has not spoken to her brother for 3 years due to a bust up.
rasonable robinson: Thanks for that! And glad that the article helps as well.