Jun 06 2008
Hard selling on breastfeeding
Though I am a breastfeeding supporter (note I no longer call myself a ‘STRONG’ supporter), I have given up in ’selling’ it outside of my blog now.
Through out the years, I’ve realized and accepted one truth – if a mother is not willing to suffer for her child, no matter what you say wouldn’t change her mind, even a little.
Yes, breastfeeding is not easy. If you want to do that, be prepared to face a lot of challenges, especially for a working mom. But for a mom who wants the best for her child, she would try to conquer those challenges. I am one of those who have lots of challenges, as I have a high flyer career, with global responsibilities, used to travel twice a month, have regular off hour telecon and meetings, etc. I nearly lost my job in my effort to provide the best for my children, and even if I did I still wouldn’t regret it, coz I trully wanted the best for them.
In my effort to promote breastfeeding, I often feel that I was seen like an insurance agent (perhaps I was too sensitive). I felt hat friends trying to avoid me, particularly expecting or new moms.
Now, I’d just lightly touch the subject of beastfeeding. If the person is interested and ask more about it, then I would continue. Once I sense that the person started giving excuses, I’d just stop and move on to other subject.
Yes, I always regard those moms who gave me excuses, as not willing to sacrifice for their children. That is because, all the reasons/excuses they gave, all lead to the same few root causes:
- Too troublesome/ difficult/ time consuming
- Want to sleep and rest well at night
- Want to be able to go around freely without kids in tow (nursing)
- Kids are taken care by others (day and night)
Look at those excuses! They are selfish reasons – not considering the children’s welfare AT ALL. So, why bother convincing these mothers? Don’t you think I should reserve all my energy for my kids instead? Sorry if you think I am talking about you…
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I commend your dedication, I got so much criticism when I decided to breastfeed all three of my kids for over a year. Like you rightly stated, if a parent is not determined to make a great choice for their child it is unfortunate, but I am always thrilled to see other mom’s take such a stance.
You got me BOB vote!
Here to drop off my Bay Head, New Jersey Blog EntreCard and to vote for you in your Friday afternoon Battle of the Blogs (just lost mine).
I’m all in favor of breastfeeding, as long as it stops well before kindergarten
Roxy
Suzette
I was a mother who was not able to breastfeed and felt a lot of pressure to explain why I didn’t.
I had a brain tumour that I was taking medication for – it was a pituitary prolactinoma that, ironically, gave me heaps of breast milk when I wasn’t pregnant or had recently given birth, and stopped my periods altogether. My daughter was some kind of miracle and I was closely monitored during the pregnancy and advised to go off the medication – somewhere my case is documented by the Royal Melbourne Hospital!
Anyhow, the second that my beautiful child was born, I had to take the medication immediately. The tumour had grown during the pregnancy and needed to be dealt with immediately. It was rather agonising to be taking a pill that immediately dried up my breast milk when I had a baby that was only an hour old in front of me.
She thrived on the formula and in a lovely positive, allowed my husband to be able to feed her half of the time and thus bond very strongly with her, so there was definitely a silver lining for us all. Plus, my tumour is now behaving itself, so life is pretty good!
Ada: thanks for the vote!
Roxy: LOL! Kindergarten age is perhaps too old. 2 years is really max for me, in fact. :p
Kath: Thanks a lot for your visit here.
I enjoy your blog a lot in BE. 
I’m sorry to hear your condition, but am also glad that it is under control now. Ya, it is true, when it comes to medical complication, it is really understandable. Whilst baby is important, there is no point do this if it means no mommy for her at the end! Mommy’s survival is most important!
Glad that you fought this tumour well, and won in that battle – wish you all the best. No one would blame you for not breastfeeding her.
In fact, my post is dedicated to those who gave those lame ‘excuse’ – in convenient, too troublesome, want more sleep, etc.
Hi Suzette,
I was doin a search and found your lovely blog.
Yes, I totally agreed with U. B/f needs lots of determination and effort. I guess ALL mummy’s would do it if they able to.
I able to EBM for 10mths.. Phew.. Yes, it saves lots of my money. I’m really proud of myself that I did it for 10mths. I think that’s my biggest achievement!!
Interesting post dear. You must be lucky to have a high flying and demanding job… this is the best time for you to earn for your child’s future. I’m on 50/50 (breastfeed/formula) based and it works well. Plus, I’m just a full-time house-wife.
Maybe your work is too demanding now. During March to September is always peak in businesses. I think everything will be settled during end of the year and you deserve a long holiday with your loved ones.
I am amazed by those olden days women. For instance, my MIL. Being the youngest DIL, she got to do all the washing, cooking and cleaning in the whole extended in-law family consist of parents in law, brothers and sisters in law with their children. Imagine waking up at 4am everyday. She manage to breastfeed 5 of her children until the age between 2 to 4 and raised them wonderfully. A salute to all these women…
Hello Suzzete, I’m totally agree with you about b/f. My Megan is 12 month now and still breastfed (not full time now, just twice a day, but better then none, right?) She was exclusive breastfed for 6 month then began to wean her off to introduce some solid food.
Breast feeding really need sacrifice. I still remember how my nipple cracked and felt like hell each time I nursed her, but I kept my self strong by thinking this is for my own baby goodness.
In Indonesia, specially in Medan, breastfeeding is not a popular choice, In hospital, babies will be introduce formula as soon as 3 hour after they’re born (in my case, I demanded initiative breast feeding as soon as i gave birth, luckily my gynecologist approved it because he’s also a naturalist but he refuse to gave me epidural shot to ease my pain:( hehehe)
We don’t have lactating class here and really have no clue how to breastfed, I only depend to the instruction from books I read and from DM memory.
We only have baby nurse who kept nagging that our baby has turn yellow because lack of water and need to be fed by formula (oh , get real).
We even got a tin of formula to bring home when we checked out.
See, how hard to try to breastfed in Medan? But I thrived on and success
True, Suzzette, I take your stand completely. As a breastfeeding mum, I find that not only we had to endure the hardship of breastfeeding (mastitis, infections, broken sleep, pumping), we also have to fend off harsh words and negative remarks from MIL and confinement ladies and visiting aunties each and everytime we flip our tops over for our breastfeeding kids.
I also feel the same way when talking to mothers who lament about not being able to feed their baby.
Usually the reasons I hear is too troublesome and no milk supply.
Once I hear these reasons, I just move on.
Like you say, no point trying to argue.
I fed Ryan till he was almost 3 and pumped til he was 2. Troublesome? yes, but worth it compared to the medical benefits I gave him and facing the trouble of bringing him to the doctor etc.
Still won’t change it even if I have to re-do it all over again.
Violet: wow! 10 months is very good! Keep up the good work.
And thanks for visiting and left a comment here!
Reena:
Ya, I also consider myself lucky. Furthermore my employer support breastfeeding… You are doing better than most mothers already, at least you tried 50:50, though 100% is still the best. Keep up the good work!
Renn: That’s right! You know, in the old days, ALL mothers breastfeed. They do not have formula milk, no excuse. Now, breastfeeding become the odd cases! If there are real cases of ‘no milk’, then all the babies die already in the past! :p
LW: Wow, despite all the obstacles, you still strive the best for your child. I really sallute you. I never thought Medan is more difficult than KL… I thought we were brainwashed by milk companies ony… :p
allthingspurple: Agree! The most common harsh comment is “Wah! So big already you still breastfeed ah? Still got milk meh? Not shameful meh?” * sigh *
Busy Bee: That is the love of a mother, isn’t it? You are willing to do this kind of sacrifice! Hey, what about your #2? If you have one soon, would you still do the same?
Hey there suzette… yes, it’s difficult to breastfeed but one of the major problems is that there is so little knowledge on the best way to breastfeed – that’s why your blog is great!
Was speaking to a breast feeding consultant (she was trained in the US) about all the horror stories she’s experienced here in Asia – like 18 year old nurses ‘teaching’ mothers to breast feed by taking the baby like a torpedo and pinching the mother’s nipple then trying to attach the two… no wonder breastfeeding is seen as too difficult here!
I can’t imagine what I would do if a nurse started squeezing my nipple and trying to attach my baby to it like that. Think I would start slapping her!
tinytapir:
Thanks!
That’s true about the nurse-story. In fact, even doctors are not well informed about this! This is particularly true for the older doctors who don’t get updated training on their knowledge. I had an exprience one with this, she wasn’t supportive of breasmilk and she says it is just body liquid. That’s why I never like the company’s panel doctors. :p
This is much belated comment, but would like to enco my view on BF. I totally agree with you…everytime I feel like giving up, I just need to remind myself that I am doing this for my own flesh and blood. What other precious gift we as mother can give to our own kids…rite? Plus it helps to save lots of $$ and heart/headache. I don’t have to worry about melamine, faked milk, or even formula compatibility with my baby. So convenience
Initially MIL has some issue, but after I successfully BF my first born up to 10 mths, I totally got her support. With my 2nd daughter, there is no pressure to buy formula in the first week when she was born.
Vivian: Hey! Thanks for dropping by and left so many good comemnts. I enjoy reading them. You are right, with bfg we do not have to worry about all those contaminations like melamine. Glad you have gone through the 1st baby successfully even without much support.
You will be doing even much better now! 