Jun 23 2008
Breastfeeding at night
2 weeks ago when I was in Singapore, I met up with a few ex-colleagues. One has two children already and she is still breastfeeding her second child, 6 months old. A great job! And I think generally breastfeeding awareness and supports are better in Singapore compared to Malaysia.
Well, actually none of my ex-colleagues in Singapore know that I am married and have 2 kids. None know that I have breastfeeding experience. That’s because we didn’t catch up for so long! The last time we met was like 6 years ago!!
Anyway, when I was chatting with her, she complaint about night feeding, that she actually pumps before sleep and then after she wakes up in the morning. The baby is taken care by the maid in another room, and is fed from bottle.
Well, when I talked to ‘experienced’ breastfeeding moms like this, it is hard to give opinion, coz she would disagree with every suggestions or opinions I give. Yes, instantaneously. Not to blame her, because none of them know of my breastfeeding journey (chewah! like very self arogant… :p).
Anyhow, this prompted me to write this post about breastfeeding at night.
Yes, it is individual preference to co-sleep with the baby, or have separate bedrooms. I wasn’t comfortable co-sleep with Ian too, and he was my first child I didn’t have any experience - not only in terms of breastfeeding, but also childcare!
It was only after 2 years taking care of Ian, I gained confidence and knowledge, then become comfortable to co-sleep with Isabel from birth. Yes, I even put her next to me in the hospital bed. It was much easier to feed lying down, and it reduces the time for me to wake up fetching her (at that point of time, my piles problem was so severe that moving an inch can kill me!).
Well, it is very important to feed round the clock, especially in the first 2 weeks, so that the body will be stimulated and producing enough milk for the rest of the 2 years. Unless you already decided that you want to mix with formula, you better make sure you have sufficient stimulation in early stage. Well, I don’t see why you would need to mix if you have good supply, right?
It is the key to success, if you feed at night. Feeding at night is difficult if you separate with your baby. For a hospital with ‘baby friendly’ status, ROOM-IN is one of the criteria - that is the baby should sleep with the mother in the same room. Now you see the hospital is also practicing this, there is no over claim from me!
It is toughest, if you have to wake up 3 or 4 hourly to express your milk at night. Or most mothers just sleep through the night and pump the next morning. It will cause either one of the 2 things: Engorgement (hardening of breast)/blocked ducks (which can lead to mastitis - milk duck infection); or Reduced Supply.
Either one, would cause you pain - either physically or mentally (reduced supply gives you stress!).
To me, co-sleep with my daughter makes things so easy. When she is hungry, she’d cry and I just pull her closer to me - she suckled and I continued to sleep. No fuss, full rest, no backache.
Why insist to sleep separately with your kids? I know some would want some privacy with the husband, but that can be arranged (different topic won’t cover here). I wouldn’t be so desperately separate with them. Sooner or later, when they grow up, they might not even want you to touch them!
I would treasure all the moments they are with me now.
I am not saying that we all should co-sleep with the kids, but if that helps your breastmilk production, why not?
When I was breastfeeding Ian, I didn’t co-sleep with him. I also didn’t want to encourage him to feed at night. So, what I did was, to ensure my milk supply, I actually woke up 3 hourly to pump. 11pm before sleep, 2am, 5am. Then 7am feed directly before going to work.
There is a lot of sacrifice to do, but I think I did better than my ex-colleague as it actually help for longer term breastfeeding! Though she is doing very well, actually mixed 50:50, due to lack of supply at night. What a waste. Just my 2 cents…
For safe co-sleeping tips, you might want to refer to this article on Safe Co-Sleeping with Your Baby. Just in case if you are still worried about the safety. 
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I agree, I still co-sleeping with Megan (since two month old), When she need her nursing at night, i just offer nennen to suckle then i continued my sleeping, after she finish, she will roll over to sleep too. I count myself lucky because before Megan was 1 month old, I have confinement lady/ acim to help me take care of her, when she cried, acim would picked her up and put her on my laps( I sat on my bed, waiting) to nurse her. Afterward, I just slipped back down to sleep and acim will put her back in her cot (we all slept in the same room, acim on extra bed)
I love co sleeping with my child. To be able to touch him and smell him (apart from easiar to breastfeed). However, since he started to turn and roll like ‘ulat’, for safety reason I have to place him in cot next to me.
Excellent site and post! I need to link to you!
hi, this may not be a related to this topic but i do need to your view urgently. My 7 month old son is teething. He is having watery stool for 5 days now, sometimes up to 6 time a day. Gone to see pediatrician and told me it is virul and if the diarrhea still persist in the next 3 days, i need to stop breastfeeding him for a while and change to lactose free milk till he gets better. She said breastmilk contains lactose. Do you have experience in this?
Hi again Suzette,
I like this post because I also co-sleep with my son…easy to breastfeed. But I am worried about one thing and hope to hear your experience about it.
I breastfeed my son on the bed till he falls asleep. I’m ok with this but there are some websites that say babies should learn to self-soothe, i.e. learn to fall asleep on their own without having to suckle or be rocked in the arms. IF they don’t, then they will have bad sleeping habits later on, i.e. they will always need the mother around to pat them to sleep, etc.
What do you think? And what’s your personal experience from this?
Thanks!
LW: Oh, ya you are right, luckily your CL is okay with you room-in with your baby, and she too was with you. If she could wake up to bring the baby to you, then all problem solved. Unfortunately not so many CLs willing to do that. They’d rather the baby sleeps with them and separated from the mom. They prefer the baby fed with cow’s milk so they wake up less (casein in cow’s milk takes longer to be digested). Maybe should get your CL’s contact, for my friends and sister! Hahaha!
Renn: Sleeping in a cot beside you is good enough, I think, since he is big now…
Primal: Thanks!
You too, have an excellent site as well!
Renn: I suggest that you get a second opinion. Have you visited Dr. Koe? She is a paed cum lactating consultant. She’ll give you the best advice. In the past when my baby had stomach upset, there are mixed advices given by different doctors. Some said to continue breastfeed as BM has high antibody that can help. Some said to stop BFG, but these are usually non-baby-friendly doc (i.e. not supportive of bfg). One doctor like to give probiotic (good bacteria), which actually helped a lot. If you want Dr. Koe’s contact, here it is: 03-79830539, her hours are 9am-1pm, 6pm-8.30pm.
Ena: Thanks for the comment. Ya, sometimes I do have that struggle as well, coz whilst one is good we create another problem! The way I solve it is, sometimes I’d think of my baby as non-breastfed babies. What would people normally do with bottle-fed babies? They give pacifiers. Almost 100% give pacifiers. Do they all grow up and still need pacifiers to sleep, till… like 30 years old?
In my case, my babies were okay the moment I told them to stop drinking nen-nen. Right after weaning, non have problem to sleep. But then, every children is different. Yours might take a while to get used to, so you’ll probably need some adjustment period for them. There is no hard rule, IMHO.
Hi, I admired that you have a good bf experience. My son is 3 months old. From the start I wanted to fully bf at least until 6 month. But now I have to supplement because of low supply. I know that stimulation for the first 2 weeks is very imporatnt, unfortunately I was down with fever in the first week because of engorgement according to my gynae. On top of that my baby was re-admitted to hospital for 2 nights for phototherapy due to jaundice, we requested a room so that I can bf. but the wad was fully booked. I had to pump at home and bring it to him. I became very demoralised and physically weak, cried all the time (mild case of postpartum depression). Luckily, my DH is very supportive and encouraged me to continue bf eventhough I did not meet my target to fully bf. Note that during confinement, MIL also insisted that I leave the baby with her at night and only bring him to me when he needs to bf. I still bf now (only in the everning and night), have to supplement due to supply low.
Someone actually recommended that I take motilium to boost supply, a drug that’s for indigestion and nausea. What’s your view on this. TQ and keep up the good work in your website.
Mozizi: Sorry to hear your struggle in the first month. Family support is very critical for success. In my earlier posts, I have written keys to success and keys to failure - you might want to take a look. Just browse in the Breastfeeding category on the right, you should see a few posts about this.
I think all MILs have good intention to ask us leave the baby with them - yes ALL MILs do that. But that also shows how uneducated they are, about successful breastfeeding. With my first baby, I also faced the same. CL took the baby on the first night, but luckily I had a good friend who BF and she told me - I am the boss, CL should listen to me instead of I listen to CL. That’s when I made up my mind and be determined. With MIL is rather difficult, coz you are not her boss.
So, some preparation before baby was born is necessary - to educate and brainwash her on BFG. Afterall, all MILs want the best for the grandchildren. 
In your case, the damages have been done, so no choice now. I took Motilium before, prescribed by a doctor, she is a paediatrician and lactating consultant. It helps! Dr. Koe’s contact is in my previous comment.
Good luck!
haha if you really interested, I can give you her number, but she can’t speak English just ‘hok- kian’ ler….
I salute to all mommies whom BF and co-sleep! I’m doing it too. It’s the easiest thing to do. Whenever your baby is crying or fussing, you turn to her, she suckles, she goes to sleep, mommy goes to sleep too. But it all based on everybody preferences. With first baby we usually don’t know what is the best for our situation and what is our preferable routine. For me, after my DD was 2 months, by then the co-sleep thing kicked in. It practically saved me from being a zombie:). But DH gets all the perks, no more baby crying, no more picking up baby in at 3am. He always boasting about it to his colleague “suruhlah isteri u BF, senang, kita dapat tidur!”
LW: I speak hokkien also! But I ‘closed shop’ already… :p I’m sure there are other moms who would be interested. If you don’t mind publish here?
Otherwise, it is okay, I understand! 
izya: Thanks for coming here and left a comment. Actually your hubby is very right! One of the benefit of breastfeeding is ==> kita dapat tidur! Hahaha!
OK, I’ve ask my CL if I get her permission to post her cell number but she was scare, she worried if you guys call her, she can’t understand, but, she’s okay if I arrange for her. So please email me at elwilim@yahoo.com if you’re going to need her services. Remember, she can speak only hok kian and bahasa Indonesia. Her brandy chicken is so….ohhhh Delicious… hahaha
Yes, I’m also co-sleeping wt my 7 going to 8 months old baby. He’s our first child.
The main reason was co-sleep made life easy for night feedings. We’ve bought a crib for our boy. However, it’s troublesome for me to get up, bend down, pick baby up and sit back on the bed. Our bed’s height was pretty low like the japanese style bed.
It has been 7 months and hubby’s reluctant to let our boy sleep on separate bed. He loves to co-sleep wt his baby as he could hug, smell, kiss & hold his son to sleep. It’s sweet to see the bonding between them though I’m a bit jealous as my baby has more attention than me from my guy!
LW: Thanks! Hope you don’t get too many enquiries.
Ryan’s mami: Wow! Many men do not like kids on their bed. Glad your hubby is fine with it, and indeed he likes it! Good to hear that!
Hi! I was reading up on breastfeeding and came across your website. Like Mozizi I admire all mothers who are able to BF their child successfully. When I was pregnant with my child I read up a lot about the stages of pregnancy, the development of my baby and etc. I told myself then that I would BF my baby exclusively. Never did it occur to me that BF was not an easy task. I thought naturally all mothers would be able to BF their babies easily. Boy was I wrong! I delivered my baby in May and on the 3rd day in the hospital, his jaudice level escalated. He had to stay in the hospital and was only discharged after a week later. I had to leave the hospital without my baby and it was heartbreaking. The first few days without my baby was difficult. I quietly return to the hospital every night to see my baby and to try BF him. My milk supply was low and I was only able to express out a limited amount of BM daily. I took it along to the hospital and fed my baby with the expressed milk. It was not enough to fill him up and I had to tell the hospital to supplement his feedings with milk formula. When he eventually came home I tried BF and he screamed everytime I tried latching him on to my breast. My hubby was not very supportive of me BF and my CL was giving me a headache. Unable to BF i had to resort to bottle feeding but even that he could tell the difference between breast milk and formula milk. Motherhood was becoming too much for me and I went into depression. My baby is now 3 months old and fully on formula milk. Still feeling guilty about not being able to BF, I hope to read up more and better equip myself with BF techniques when I eventually have a second child in the future.
Kim, I am so sorry hear your story. I fully agree that breastfeeding is not as easy as it seems –> just put your nipples into the baby’s mouth and that’s it. No!
That’s why whenever new mothers come to me for advice in bfg, I would ask them whether they are really determined to. Not meant to discourage them, but want them to be mentally prepared for the difficulties ahead.
Your case is similar to my friend, who is my bfg guru –> she was the one who made me first consider bfg. Her son also had jaundice and had to stay in the hospital while she being discharged.
Lucky for her that she had things that you don –> SUPPORT. Her husband fully supported her. She doesn’t have MIL nor CL to deal with. And the hospital was a baby-friendly hospital, etc.
So, with full support, she also charged-in with the son, stay in the hospital until the son discharged. She was there to breastfeed the baby on demand, like what she is supposed to. That’s how she maintain her supply.
It is not easy to do this without support from your family. Here is a post I’ve written up about things that fail bfg:
http://www.thesuzette.com/2007/10/things-that-fail-breastfeeding/
It is so easy to fail it!
I’m so sorry to hear your case. I nearly gone into depression because of the stress from CL. One tip for future is to check CL’s experience and stance in bfg. My (another) friend interviewed the CL before hiring her, to see how much knowledge she has on bfg, and her attitude towards bfg. Surprisingly, due to the new trend on bfg, CLs are changing their mind set now. They have to ‘advertise’ that they support bfg! The day will come, when CLs will be like a bfg advisor - keep our fingers crossed.
All the best! Do check out my other posts on bfg –> check the category on the right side bar.
Hope it helps you.
My wife waits until about 12am then feeds our baby (now she also supplements with formula thru a bottle) and our daughter sleeps until about 5:30 maybe 6am. At which point she feeds her again and she sleeps until 8am. Worked with two of my children, hope it helps
Danny
Spiffy Baby: Wow, you are lucky to have a baby who doesn’t wake up many times, or attached to the breasts! Unfortunately most babies are not like that. Some relies on the breasts to sleep, so will look for moms whenever they wake up in the middle of the night. Some, in my case, happen to be light sleepers — wake up almost every hour! Good for you then!
hi my name z kulsoom and i lived in islamabad pak i have two kids one is four years old and the sec is two years old and now i wants to stop breast feeding bt i do ‘nt know what can i do for my baby i love my baby veeeeery much and this feeding piriod i have enjoying plz give me some suggestions ok love 2 all
kulsoom:
Ya, I know the feeling. Actually after weaning off my kids, I always miss those period when I was still breastfeeding them. It is actually more difficult for the moms instead of for the kids. If you have made up your mind, you just need to be stern and consistent with it - just don’t give in to your baby. There are many other things that we can do to continue the bonding, to replace the breastfeeding relationship. 
I am co-sleeping with my 7 month old baby. Is easier to bf her at nite. The only problem is I have to alternate btw the breast and need to move to her left / right each other time. It helps to have a king size bed…(I put her in the middle and slept either on left or right (the downside is I have to kick my hubby out of the room
Managed to continue to bf my baby and the advantage of baby-friendly hospital - they bring the UV light to you and continue to ensure that the baby get the light exposure while on breast 
- hence,no compromise.
Enjoyed the co-sleeping arrangement, but for the past few days I have been thinking if this is the right thing to do. I want to encourage her to sleep through the night. Any tips how? But at the same time, if I don’t let her suckle, am afraid that the milk supply will drop (as it is I am on “kais pagi makan pagi basis”).
I breastfed my son until 10 mths…and at 2 yrs, he still can’t sleep through the night.
For those who were unlucky that the baby requires hospitalisation for jaundice, do find a baby-friendly hospital. For my first baby, I got myself admitted to the hospital as well, and got the confinement lady to stay in the hospital too
Alternatively, you can rent the photolight for home treatment. I did that for my 2nd baby, and of course you need to make the trip to hosp/paed for follow-up.
Vivian: Thanks for dropping by and left this very helpful comment. Yes, these are very good options for jaundice babies, and it is very important to use baby friendly hospital, as they will give you their best support!
As for the switching sides, hehehe, I also had the same problem with my first child. And then, with my second one, I have learnt the skill of breastfeeding her, with my both sides, without having to move her or myself. It needs a little skill and practice… I actually could tilt my body to feed her. :p I am a lazy mama. When it comes to do things lazy way, I can be quite skillful. Hahaha! :p