Oct 23 2007
Domestic Helper - Can’t Be Trusted
Domestic Helper, aka Live-in Maid. I have one Indonesian live-in maid for 18 months now.
Getting a good maid is really like trying to strike lottery. I thought I was lucky, got a good one. We like her nearly for all aspects, and I’ve talked to her about extending her stay for another year.
However, I’ve just found out that she lied to me AGAIN.
Thanks to the Pingo calling card that I use for her to call home, I can monitor her phone calls history. I’ve trusted her well that I let her keeps the numbers and PIN. I really see no need for her to lie to me, coz I treat her like friend and almost grant her every requests.
I let her call home once a month, without questioning who she speaks to and neither listening in to her conversation. I really see no need for her to cheat me.
Recently my house phone is not working, so I let her use my cellphone. I helped her to make the call and realized that the credit is very low. My first reaction was not to suspect her, instead I thought Pingo short changed me!
I logged in to my account and viewed the call history yesterday. Found out a lot of calls made to an unfamiliar number. I went to maid’s room to double check the phone number, realized she had got a new number with her husband’s name. And from her notes, I learnt that he has been detained by the police - perhaps recently been released.
She apparently made phone calls to her husband descretely, from MIL’s house while MIL trying to let my children sleep.
I confronted her this morning. Asked her whether she used the phone in addition to those times I asked her to call home. If she had admitted, I’d forgive her though I might demand her to seek permission first. But she denied! She lied to me…
I just can’t trust her anymore, though she broke down with tears realizing I knew everything.
I am not sure whether I know everything. I am more determined to install CCTV now. I’ve been delaying this because I am about to shift house. But this morning, after discussion with DH, we’ve decided to install at least in MIL’s house.
She handles all our drinking water, and she cooks Isabel’s porridge. I must see what she puts in, just in case she is like the other mentally sick maids.
People have been telling me not to trust my maid. I’ve treated her so well, sometimes even better than my own sister. I thought if we treat her well, wouldn’t she be nice to us as well?
I just can’t forget people lie to me, especially this is the second time. Yes, she lied before, but I’ve tried to forgive her on that and never mentioned that for a year already!
Related Posts
Gosh, that’s bad. But I just can’t put CCTV at home, i’m not comfortable with it.
shoppingmum: I think CCTV is good, not only to monitor maid’s behaviour, also a security measures, especially if you live in a landed house.
Gosh, I am just feeling more and more uncomfortable with my maid now, knowing she lied to me. How? Should I dismiss her and get another maid, whom I also don’t know her honesty? I am more worried of her husband’s influence. Why must she be so secrecy in making the calls? Is her husband teaching her some hanky panky things?
It may be prudent to dismiss her if the trust is no longer there. At the same time you may need to buck up on keeping your valuables. A lot of maids start stealing when they know the employer is going to terminate them. Getting a good maid is really a matter of luck.
It’s hard being the maid too. Before you decide on what to do.. maybe you wanna take a step back.. and try being in her shoes. So far away from home and all .. isn’t the easiest. Be patient and have a heart to heart to with her..
EMYYL: Exactly the same reason why I got very uneasy. I could sense her very siu-hei after I confronted her with the calling card issues, makes me very uneasy. But then, I’m think I might want to give her a chance, let things settle a little first, and evaluate it again.
Mamabok: You know, actually I have been thinking like you all the while. Those are the things that I spoke to her, in my confrontation with her. I told her I understand how she feels being away from home away from kids, bla bla bla. and I asked her how I treat her and how she feels about working with me, I also asked her whether she has any issues at home etc.
What made me sad (or disappointed) is, she still chose to lie. She really don’t have to lie, but I don’t know why she has to, unless she has other things want to hide from me.
Anyway, I’m going to still give her a try and see. I have another 2 months to re-evaluate her before deciding whether or not to extend for another year.