Suzette's Parenting and Breastfeeding Blog | Double Standard

I really don’t know what to say about this.  I feel sorry to my family (my mom and my sis), and also myself, for having to bear with these blames…  Keeping quiet is the only way, but also at the mercy of my mom’s and sister’s feeling.  Mom, sorry for being weak and quiet about this most of the time, love you and thank you for your patience and understanding.

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Example 1:

I fed Ian with cakes for breakfast.  When MIL found out, she said I shouldn’t have done so.  According to her, that’s the reason for Ian’s non-recovering cough.  Okay, I stopped feeding him cakes in the morning.

My mom fed Ian cakes because he wanted it.  MIL blamed my mom for ‘causing Ian’s cough‘.  Okay, I told my mom to stop it.

When it was someone’s birthday at in-law’s place, MIL fed Ian with the birthday cake.  She packed some leftover and asked me to feed him the next morning because Ian likes it.  And that doesn’t cause Ian’s cough.  What’s the difference?

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Example 2:

My mom gave Ian Yakult in the afternoon.  Ian likes it.  MIL blamed my mom for causing Ian’s cough with it.

MIL likes to give Ian Vitagen and ABC Nutrigents, which SIL always keep in the fridge.  MIL gives whenever Ian likes.  And that doesn’t cause cough.  I wonder what’s the difference.

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Example 3:

MIL refrained us for giving Ian ice-cream as it causes cough.

Yesterday, she gave Ian a tube of my frozen EBM, just as a treat.  That doesn’t cause cough.  I wonder what’s the difference.

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Example 4:

I brought Ian to my grandma’s place 2 weeks ago.  One week later, they found a bruise and questioned my mom.  Where in fact, the day before they found it, SIL brought Ian to her boyfriend’s house for quite a few hours.  Why must it be the incident 1 week ago that caused the bruise, and not this event the day before?  I don’t understand.

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More…
I am quite sick with all these blames and stress on my mom, sis and myself.  Yesterday I really couldn’t stand it at the sight of her giving out my frozen ebm as a treat (of hers!).  I just burst out: “I really don’t understand, when my mom gives Ian cake and Yakult you said that caused Ian’s cough, but if you give him cake and this ‘ice-cream’ – doesn’t cause any harm.  I just don’t understand.”

She kept saying they are different.  Whatever she said, I don’t buy.  Just don’t make sense at all.  But I said nothing after that, let whatever I said sink in or fade out.  I don’t want to argue.  Whatever it is, she can do everything, we (as in my mom, sis and me) cannot do anything.  Whatever we do, we are wrong.  * shrug *

Unfortunately, my dear DH, the person that should give me most support, stands by her all the time.  That makes me no avenue to resolve any conflicts.  I just have to swallow it.

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