Suzette's Parenting and Breastfeeding Blog | Favoritism

Another post from Shopping Mum that triggers me to write again!

I come from a small family, and I have only one younger sister.

When I was very young, I couldn’t understand why my sister always feel mom and dad favor me more. We used to think she was sensitive and we always thought no one compares her with me, and she was the only person who compares.

The situation only turned better, after she took a completely different path in her study subject from mine. No apple-to-apple comparison can be made any more.

But seriously, now thinking back, I guess I was the lucky one. I was born first, and I got all the attention in the family. Not only my small family, but even from the greater extended family. My mom is the eldest in her family, and my first cousin is 6 years junior.

So, imagine that I enjoyed all the attention and I happened to excel in my academic performance too.

My sister, on the other hand, always lives in my shadow. Whether they did it intentionally or not, the adults do make some comparison.

Even for myself, I was also being compared – but with my own self. Once I scored 100 in kindergarten, they expect me to consistently score 100 all the way for all exams until I graduated from Uni. I was also very stressed, by just being compared to MYSELF.

I can’t imagine being compared to another person, whom you love but also hate because of the comparison.

I guess my sister’s feeling on me is really a mix. I know she loves me. But frankly speaking, if I were in her shoes, would I also hate me?

Like Shopping Mum, I am also telling myself to be careful when I bring up my children. I have already warned MIL and DH – coz I could see tendencies in MIL loving Ian more. She has the record for this with her own children. DH is number 2, and DH’s grandma used to scold MIL for loving BIL more than DH. Of course, she has her excuse for it, which I’m not sure valid or not, it was in the past anyway.

Related Posts

Trackback URI | Comments RSS