Suzette's Parenting and Breastfeeding Blog

It was a fine Saturday morning 2.5 months ago, just few mins after I tested positive in pregnancy, my boss called to announce the news of company restructuring. At that point the detail on our level was not ready yet. I wasn’t worried, and I’ve never expected I would be affected.

And yesterday morning, my boss told CC and me that the structure is out for our level, and both of us are affected. I still showed no emotion, as if I have expected it.

Basically, what it means is, from next week onwards I will be jobless until I find another job within the organization. The two positions of CC’s and mine will be down to one only, and two of us have to fight for it – we will have to reapply the job when it is officially announced next week, together with many others who are affected by the re-org. On top of that, we will be allowed to apply for 2 other jobs.

What is unclear now is, how much time do we have to get a job, before we are officially asked to leave.

DH and sister were worried about me, and kept talking to me. I was optimistic yesterday and showed no sign of worries at all.

But this morning, when I was driving to work, I collapsed. I cried in the car very badly, like a baby.

I am very worried about losing my job. I am pregnant now and it certainly is hard for me to get a job outside. My chance of securing a job here is slim; given there will be many applicants and limited jobs. I believe I will lose my current job to CC because strategically they should get CC instead of me, because he is located in North Asia, and my boss is in South Asia – geographically it is wise to be like this.

If my information is correct, I should have 3 months to look for a job, and by then if I fail, I will be counseled. Another 3 months will be given, and if still fail, I will be asked to leave – don’t think there will be any compensation.

By then, it would be early June 2005, which is the same time I will be on my maternity leave. The thought of losing my job when I am on maternity is so scary!

Why this pregnancy is so tough? I’ve not been happy since I found out I was pregnant – news of restructuring, tensions with my boss, and now news of possibly losing my job.

Oh, God! Please help me pass through this dark period, please give me the strength to handle this…

Last week was like a ‘back-to-school’ week for me.

On Tuesday, evening, I had to go to Singapore, to attend a conference from Wed till Fri. Then after coming back on Friday, I had to attend a breastfeeding-counseling course given by the Ministry of Health on Saturday and Sunday (full day from 9-5).

It was such a tiring week for me. That’s why you see me missing from suzette.com.

Studying itself is nice, but studying from 9 to 5 is torturing. The first few sessions of the days are usually fine, but normally after lunch the eyes will not be listening to me. I actually slept through one of the presentations in Singapore, and I was sitting on the first row!

Whatever it is, comparing the two courses I attended, I have to say that the courses given by the ministry is extremely good. Though I have breastfed 16 months, there is a lot of new knowledge that I learnt in the course. The free course is much more worthy compared to the paid course in Singapore.

The speakers from the Jabatan are so good that their quality is so much better than the so-called professionals in the Singapore conference. Most of the sessions in the Singapore conference were given by AngMo, but they just read out from the slides and the sessions were boring.

Unlike the AngMo, our fellow Jabatan staffs were so good at presentations. They were very lively, energetic and interesting.

I will share in this blog later on interesting things that I learnt from the breastfeeding course… when I have the time later. :p

Ever since joining the company 3 years ago, I’ve never joined the annual dinner. First year, I had to attend a meeting with supplier in JB – missed it. Second year, I can’t remember whether I traveled or had night time teleconference – basically I missed it again.

This year, I have decided I must go. But, but, but…

The theme this year is MASQUERADE, i.e. 化妆舞会!

It is this Friday, and I still don’t know what else I can wear.

Egghead complaint that J had to buy clothes for her annual dinner, but for me I think that is easy. I just don’t know what I can and what I want to wear!

I hope to spend the least money, but still follow the theme. Difficult, right?

I have very little tools at home that can help me. Oh, no! How? How? How?

Some suggestions I received:
- Baby (wear a bib, hold a milk bottle and clip a pacifier, and best still if I can wear an adult diaper outside!). No way for the diaper! :p
- Little Riding Hood (find a red top with hood, wear a red skirt, put my handbag into a basket and cover with some flowers/apples). Sounds good, but hard to find hooded top ler…
- 木兰花 (all black, tight, but must show some kungfu).
- Cowboy girl. But must find cowboy hat, I don’t have ler.

More and more ideas from my friend, but I have so little time to prepare! Sob, sob, sob! Maybe I skip it again this year?

If you hear any kid shouting ‘Kok Kok Gai!”, I’m sure you’d think he is referring to ‘Chicken’ in Cantonese.

We thought so, when we heard Ian said that, many times. We didn’t know where he learnt it.

Then on Friday morning after I bathed Ian, when I wiped him, as usual I pointed his body parts and said, “Wipe hair-hair, wipe ear-ear, wipe hand-hand, …”

And when I said, “Wipe gak-lat-dai (armpit in Cantonese)”…

Ian happily responded, “Kok Kok Gai!”

I burst into laughter, and tested him again.

Suz: “Ian, say gak-lat-dai”

Ian: “Kok Kok Gai!”

Suze: * pointed at Ian’s armpit * “What is this?”

Ian: “Kok Kok Gai!”

Aiyoh! Why Ian created all sorts of own language, but so easily misunderstood as something else in our language har? LOL!

Last Friday I was on leave, because it was my birthday and I hate working on my birthday. :p

In the morning, DH gave me my birthday gift – a rose quart pendant. He thought, since I have problems with my boss, probably I need something like a rose quart to boost my relationship. But then, I noticed a crack on the pendant, so have decided to get it exchanged in the afternoon.

In my plan, I had to run quite a lot of errands that day. First, sent Ian to paed for his last jab, which ended up making him cried from the moment we reached PMC – he remembered the place and cried before the needle was out! Poor boy…

After sending him back to MIL, I then rushed to 1 Utama to have Genki Sushi for lunch. I had it alone coz I couldn’t make any appointments given the paed visit. I have been craving for Genki Sushi for many weeks, and finally I had it!

Then, at 1 Utama, I had 3 other things to do:
1) To re-string the crystal bracelet that I broke during my 1st pregnancy
2) To redeem my HSBC birthday gift – an Ogawa massage pillow, for free
3) To exchange the new crystal pendant

But as I was approaching the outlet, I realized that I lost the little jewel box with the pendant!

I was panic. I called MIL immediately to see if I have left it at home, together with the pile of Ian’s clothes I removed from my bag. No, it was not there.

Then, I went to my car. Searched high and low. It was not there.

I was more panic, with the fear that I might have dropped it at PMC.

After 1U, I had to visit my ex-boss in SS3, as planned. Wow, my ex-boss’s house was re-built on a bungalow land, she spent a few millions on it. The place was impressive. Anyway, that’s not the subject today.

After visiting my ex-boss, it was already 4:30pm or so, and it was raining heavily. I went straight to my apartment, checked all the places that I had ever placed the pendant, couldn’t find.

Then, I continued my errands, to cut my hair. After cutting my hair, went back to MIL’s house, searched high and low, even to the drain. Not found.

FIL came back, heard my story, he also searched my car, thinking that I might have left out something. Nothing was found.

And then DH came home, I of course got scolded lah (but not kao kao one lah, coz that was my birthday though he was sad that the pendant was gone).

Then we celebrated my birthday at Milwaukee, with Secret Recipe cheesecake sponsored by SIL.

Reached home at 10:30pm. I suddenly remembered something! I went straight to my bedroom, and DA DA DA DA! The box was on the little table next to Ian’s cot! When I was looking for the broken bracelet, I placed it there and I didn’t remember it!

Whew! Saved my pendant, but got ‘scolded’ by DH and MIL for being ‘big head prawn’. :p
Never mind lah, just scold me kao kao lah, I found the pendant and I am happy now!

Why got scolded? Because, I was very confidently telling everyone that: “I am VERY SURE I placed the box into my bag, just beside Ian’s clothes!” :p