Oct 07 2005
Cannot Tell Your Pregnancy!
There was this myth about pregnancy: do not make your pregnancy news public, otherwise the fetus will be ‘small gas’ and leave you.
Actually this is just a myth. I was told about the statistic: every 1 in 7 pregnancies will end up with ‘nothing’, being part of a natural QC process.
So, if you have miscarriage during the first trimester, it is completely normal. Nothing is wrong with the mother and it is not due to the mother sharing the news with others. I often see mothers blaming themselves when they have miscarriage, and I really pity them. I pity them more when they are pressured and blamed by other people.
However, for other reasons, I do agree that it is wise to keep the news on pregnancy until 12 weeks or after. Since the statistic of miscarriage during first trimester is so high, it would be hard for one to go through the pain again, to update everyone that she lost her baby.
An example is my colleague. Well, actually she didn’t really announce her pregnancy, but her boss made it public. At 11 weeks she found out the fetus died at 9th week. After the D&C and ‘confinement’ for 1 week, when she returned to the office she still had to face with a lot of kind people’s questions like, “How’s your baby?” “Do you still have morning sickness?” “When is your EDD?”
As for me, I have to make it public, otherwise how can I explain why I can’t go to Beijing and Bangkok? But for KPC people that don’t have to know, I don’t tell loh!
Altho I’m usually not superstitious but when it comes to baby I guess theres no harm observing this pantang larang.
I announced both pregnancy every early. Can’t wait to tell the whole world. You take care if you really need to go on travelling. No morning sickness yet?
I very pan-tang one..! but i was so happy..when i had my brat..! i told the whole world.. and anyone… who would wanna listen.. .. hahahha!!
well… I say “let your belly tell the story!!”
but in our case… good news should be announce as early as possible… right?
as for miscarriage… our country do lack psychiatric personnel to provide proper counselling to the victims so that they would not blame themselves…
mumsgather: ya, but then it also gives unnecessary stress to the pregnant lady too. we often can’t avoid have to tell. When you let your boss know, she would have to tell her boss, etc. When they are arranging temporary resources or to rearrange work, more and more people would know. Isn’t it?
shopping mum: hehe, in my 1st pregnancy I announced very early, almost to the whole world. Didn’t know about the pantang larang at all!
bigbok: haha! sometimes when too happy, whatever we knew would be left behind, right?
egghead: sometimes not only that we want to announce good news, but can’t avoid must announce – especially if you are working and need to re-arrange resources. In my case, can’t travel in the first 3 months would be quite hard not to tell the reasons liao. Already people presuring me to explain why I can’t travel. I had to announce, even all the way to Beijing.
Yalor, when I had my first pregnancy, it is very hard to face people, even my own mother to tell her I had miscarried. Can kena blame lor.
lilian: some times it is even harder to face the closest ones, like your own mother or husband, hor?
my mil dont even know that i am pregnant until the day my hubby told her that i had a miscarriage (at 6th week)!