Mar 23 2005

Bonding 1

Published by at 2:18 pm under All,Ian

During Ian’s full moon celebration, one of my good friends said to me: “Since you travel so frequently for work, it is not good to breastfeed. Your baby will be too attached to you, and it would be difficult for the two of you when you are not around.”.

Well, actually, for some selfish reasons, I do want to continue breastfeeding, because I want to have the kind of bonding, if what my friend said is true. I know I am selfish, but tell me if there is any mothers would not want bonding with their own babies!

I knew I would be traveling on business very often. I knew I had to let other people take care of my baby when I’m working in the office or traveling. I knew my baby might not be closed to me, and call the other people ‘mummy’. The thought of that really upset me, and wondered whether I should have a baby or not.

I have never loved any babies before. I don’t like any children anyway. I am the type that, even looking at an adorable baby (regarded by others), I still don’t have any ‘feeling’. I’ve never voluntarily picked up any babies before.

For me to have my own baby, it really took me very long to decide. The main obstacle was, I always worried if I would be jailed for child abuse! :D

Anyway, I have decided to have baby, and I have Ian now. It was such a miracle how things and feeling changed. I used to wonder why God made women pregnant for 9 months and go through the whole process. But, God gave me the answer through the experience itself. Things were so wonderful during the pregnant time. How things changed in every month. During the 1st month, I felt nothing, just worried if I would love my own baby. In the 2nd month, started to feel excited. Slowly progressed to 4-5 months, when baby movements are felt à I started to love my baby. Love grown day by day, and the moment Ian was born – I just felt so touched and impressed by the gift from God.

Isn’t it a miracle?


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